As a girl who was born and raised in a part of England that pushes
the boundaries of normal social behaviour, the serene residential streets of North
West London probably wasn't the first place people would suggest I move to. But
it happened.
Luckily, Camden is just round the corner. There I can act
like a total loon before heading back to civilisation.
Upon arrival in my new home I went for a wander to explore
my surroundings. As I strolled down the road I overheard a young boy
complaining about something his friend had just done,
“That is totally unethical.”
In my parts kids say “that’s out of order” or you’re simply
told to f*** off. It was at this point I realised I probably had to adjust
certain elements of my behaviour in order to fit in.
For example…
Celebrity sightings are the norm in this area. In fact it is
the norm on my street. I have to take a few deep breaths before I go out the
front door so that I don’t end up squealing in the faces of Daniel Craig or
Russell Brand. I suppress the urge to get too excited and grin at them like an over-caffeinated
Cheshire cat. I remind myself that I need to act like the rest of my neighbours
and act completely nonchalant (i.e. a simple nod will suffice rather than a
massive bear hug).
You definitely don’t go binge drinking. Not that I have done
(yet), but if you have so much to drink that you end up singing S Club 7 all
the way home and throwing up on someone’s doorstep it is guaranteed that no one
will be laughing the next morning.
You need dogs or at least access to some canine pals. Walking
my landlady’s dogs has escalated me into a whole new social realm. People
actually stop you to recommend documentaries about “dog spirituality”. Back
where I’m from that would probably earn you a punch in the face or a bite on
the arse from a dog who is not really in touch with his spiritual side.
Everyone is a fitness fanatic. I often feel good about
myself for going for a walk every day. But then I pass by dozens of cyclists,
enough joggers to initiate some kind of running army and a questionable Latino
offering Salsa lessons on a canal boat. This often causes some frantic research
into local gyms…in the comfort of the local bakery, of course.
You pronounce a lot more letters of the alphabet.
Enunciation is key if you want to get by. Also, excessive swearing is a no-no
unless you’re an aging rock star.
There are no local fast food joints. The most you can hope
for are vegan cupcakes or a pot of hummus.
However, as much as I joke, I can’t help but love every
quirky minute I spend here. You never know, maybe this corner of London could
teach this Medway girl a thing or two…
